Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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