Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
