took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
