You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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