so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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