it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
