No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have aggressive nipples.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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