I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
