Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
