One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
