I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
