I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
