So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
