I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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