Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
