Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
