if you like me you must not know who I am
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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