I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Randomize
