apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
