we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
