Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
