You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
