sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
