I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
