Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You may now shotgun with the bride
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
