I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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