I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
