i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
