5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize