My friends, they love my intelligence
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
