have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
