Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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