my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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