After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
