so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
