i always forget guys have bellybuttons
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
