Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
