She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
