no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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