Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
