these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize