So drunk, too bad you don't want this
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
