Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
