there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
