somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He better not be in your backpack
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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