Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
