i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Randomize
