She is in my trunk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
