i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
