:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
