I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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