doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
