I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
