I just made out with a guy for $7.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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