I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
