it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize