Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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