I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
