i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
