ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
