if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
