There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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